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.When we d dated, hehadn t been the type to eat nonprocessedanything, and he had made fun ofpatchouli-wearing New Age types. As Tim talked about himselfsomething he d always been good at Irealized he appeared more relaxed andhappier than I d ever seen him.When helaughed over some comment Kim made,his face lit up.I, on the other hand, felt like crap.Hungover from my night out, unwashed,unkempt, and unhappy because mysignificant other was MIA and because Ididn t even know if Jason really was myboyfriend or just a guy I d dated for awhile.Were we on or off? What was hethinking, feeling, expecting from me? Was some of the blame for his sudden need forself-examination mine because of the wayI d acted toward him around my parents?Had I made him feel diminished, or werehis issues strictly his own?Too many questions, and I d losttrack of what Tim was saying.Not that itmattered.He was fully capable ofcarrying on a conversation all by himself. Well, it was great to see you, but Ihave to get going, I interrupted at last. Nice to meet you, Kim. Kim and Tim.How adorable. Shanti. The girl actually put herpalms together and bowed at me so alternative lifestyle, so not Tim s style.Only apparently now it was.The guy wasactually wearing sandals over socks.I beat a hasty retreat from the shop,grabbing a few more items I didn t needand forgetting the ones I d come for in myhurry to get to the checkout.I breathed easier once I got out ofthe store.That s when the idea of fatekicked in.Running into Tim had been likeGod sending a lightning bolt.Seeing my exand witnessing the changes in him nowthat he was apparently truly in love mademe consider Jason in a new light.I d been happy with Jason, honestly, truly,effortlessly happy, a rare thing in thisworld.To let him slip away because offear, on either my part or his, would becrazy.Pride be damned, I d call him andtell him how I felt.****Tracking down Chrissy s phonenumber was harder than I expected.Ididn t feel like I could ask Lisa for itconsidering our make-out session, afterwhich I hadn t called her again.Cellnumbers aren t easy to get unless someonegives them to you.I finally ended up calling Chrissy s mom, who still lived inPickens. Hi, Mrs.Atkins? This is JasonReitmiller. My pulse was racing, and Ihalf expected her to hang up on me.Hadshe known about Chrissy s abortion? Icouldn t imagine Chrissy telling her, butshe might have.There was a pause, then,  Jason.It sso& unexpected to hear from you.Howare you doing? I heard about youraccident. I m okay. I rushed on, anxious toget to the point. I ve been trying to get in touch with some people from my past,piece together some holes in my memory.Iwondered if you could give me Chrissy scell number? Another pause followed, soI added,  Or give her my number and shecan contact me if she wants to. Sure, Jason.I could do that. Mrs.Atkins s voice was suddenly so familiar.A memory flashed in my head.A momentat the Atkins s dinner table.Mrs.Atkinsserving slices of ham so fragrant I couldalmost smell them now, telling how sheand Chrissy s dad had met, and all of uslaughing at the stupid pickup line sheclaimed he d used.I d looked at Chrissy and, in that moment, thought I could marryher and this would be my life for the nextfifty years.I realized Mrs.Atkins was waitingfor me to respond. That d be great.Thanks.I really appreciate it.It took a couple of days, but Chrissydid get back to me.The call came while Iwas filling the toilet paper dispenser inone of the men s johns at work.Gettingout my phone to answer, I nearly droppedit in the toilet. Jason, it s Chrissy Atkins. Thevoice didn t stir an ounce of recognition in me.I waited for it, but no flood ofmemories came. Hi.How are you? Even though I drehearsed what I d say if she called, I wassuddenly tongue-tied. Okay.How are you doing? I meantto check in after you came out of yourcoma, but then& I just didn t. That s all right.I probablywouldn t have known you anyway.Mymemory s kind of Swiss cheese.Just asecond, okay? I walked out of the men sroom, peeling off my gloves, leanedagainst the wall in the hallway and took adeep breath before resuming the call.  Chrissy, I talked to Lisa and shehelped me remember some stuff, about youand me back in high school.I want toapologize for being a douche back then,for the way I treated you and how Ihandled the, uh, the abortion.Silence followed.I started towonder if I d lost her when I put her onhold. Well.It was a long time ago, shesaid at last. I ve put it behind me.Youshould too. It may be old news to you, but it snew to me.I m uncovering bits of my past and finding out I don t much like the guy Iwas.Another pause. We all do stupidthings when we re young.I m a differentperson now too. She exhaled, a soft littlesigh. Honestly, I d rather not talk about itor think about it.It was a hard thing to do,but there s no point dwelling on it, youknow? Sure.I hadn t been supportive back then,but I could make up for it a little now.IfChrissy didn t want to be reminded, Ishould respect that. Anyway, I justwanted to say I m sorry.So, what have you been up to since high school? I went to Hollingsworth.It s aprivate college in Delaware.But Idropped out after about a couple of years [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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